The Plan I Didn’t Know I Needed

 Last week was National Daughters Day, and ever since, I’ve felt compelled to write something about mine.

I have two of the most wonderful daughters in the world.

Which is funny, because I always said I wanted boys. 😂 I was convinced I was meant to be a boy mom. Now? I cannot imagine my life any other way than being a girl mom.

And the truth is, becoming a mom wasn’t exactly part of my plan when it happened.

When I found out I was pregnant with my oldest, Rylea, I was not trying to get pregnant. At all. It was a complete shock—and if I’m being completely transparent, I cried.

This was NOT in my plan.

But apparently, a higher power knew a whole lot better than I did what I needed.

And then came Rylea.

Everything about her has been easy from the very beginning. My pregnancy was easy. Labor and delivery were easy. She was an easy baby, an easy toddler, and somehow we made it through elementary school, middle school AND high school without the drama I kept waiting for. 😂

Now she’s in college, and I’m still waiting.

Rylea is smart, beautiful, athletic, independent and incredibly driven. She’s had a job since she was 16—not because we made her, but because she wanted to. In high school, she didn’t go out much. Her life was basically schoolwork, lacrosse and work.

Lacrosse was a huge part of those years. Rylea played attack for both her travel and high school teams—which, if you know her competitive side, makes perfect sense.

She’s always had the best personality, although you have to really know her to see all of it. She’s funny, witty, sarcastic, and WAY more competitive than most people realize. She loves books, cats, and—just like her mama—is an avid concert junkie.

When she left for college, I worried about her.

Of course I did. I’m her mom.

And then she flourished.

My quiet, responsible high schooler suddenly became a social butterfly. She made new friends, had and is still having fun, experienced college life—and somehow managed to keep her grades up through all of it. She even became an RBT last year and began working with children with autism, which made this ESE mom pretty darn proud.

She’ll graduate from the University of Florida in December, barely 21 years old. Technically, she could have graduated even earlier, but I encouraged her not to rush it. College only happens once. So instead, she spent the summer in Ireland doing an internship and came back to UF for one final class.

Watching her build a life of her own has been one of the strangest, hardest and most rewarding parts of being her mom.

And then there’s Brynlea. 😂

My girls are alike in some ways, but they are also VERY different.

And Bryn made that clear before she ever entered the world.

From basically the moment I became pregnant with her, she made her presence known. I was sick my entire pregnancy and eventually reached the point where I was practically begging my doctor to PLEASE get this child out of me.

Brynlea finally made her grand entrance on 4/20.

Yes.

Really.

My child was born on 4/20. 😆

And she’s pretty much been keeping us entertained ever since.

She was TINY as a toddler. At two years old, she weighed around 14 pounds but could walk perfectly fine and certainly had no trouble talking. We called her “Elf” because she was this teeny little person walking around having full conversations in the cutest little elf voice.

And oh, was she smart.

Even when she was little, you could have an adult conversation with Brynlea. She had opinions. She had questions. And she had a point of view that, even at three or four years old, could make you stop and think, “Well…she’s actually got a point.”

And then there were the dinosaurs.

Dinosaurs weren’t just something Bryn liked. They were her passion.

At three years old, she could walk around Dinoland at Disney and tell you the names of the dinosaurs—and facts about them that I couldn’t begin to tell you today.

And some things never change.

Brynlea is now a sophomore in high school, and dinosaurs are still very much part of her world—along with anime and video games. She’s worked at Publix for more than a year, plays defender for both her travel and high school lacrosse teams, and challenges herself academically with college-credit courses.

But as proud as I am of all of those things, they aren’t what make me proudest of her.

Brynlea is strong.

She knows what she believes is right, and she’s not afraid to stand up for it. More importantly, she’s not afraid to stand up for someone else. She has always had a heart for people who are being picked on, overlooked or who simply have less than she does.

Last Thanksgiving, Publix gave her a $100 gift card for the holiday.

A hundred dollars is a lot of money to a teenager.And to me!

Bryn didn’t spend it.

She handed it to the first homeless person she saw.

That’s Brynlea.

Smart, beautiful, witty, strong, opinionated, compassionate and fiercely protective of other people.

Maybe it’s fitting that she’s a defender.

And maybe it’s equally fitting that her sister was an attack. 😂

Two girls. Two very different personalities. Two completely different ways of moving through the world.

And somehow, I get to be the mom of both of them.

These girls have been my rock, especially over the last few years. They have made me laugh when I didn’t feel like laughing, kept me grounded when life felt anything but, and reminded me over and over again what really matters.

I am so incredibly blessed to be their mom.

Or, as they like to call me, their Queen. 👑😂

My life is richer, fuller, louder, funnier and infinitely better because of them.

So that woman all those years ago who was convinced she wanted boys? The one who wasn’t ready for motherhood and cried because a baby wasn’t part of her plan?

She wouldn’t change a single thing.

Because today, I can’t imagine who I would be without these two incredible blessings I get to call my daughters.

Funny how life works that way.

Sometimes the things we never planned for become the things we can’t imagine living without.

Sometimes you just have to trust the process.

It’s messy. It’s unexpected. It’s beautiful.

It’s real life.